Would you keep your name?
15th November 2017
This topic has been a debate since the 60s when the second wave of feminism swept the nation. Marriage was classed as patriarchal, outdated and even oppressing to women. One of its tools for oppression was “robbing” a woman of their family name. Nowadays marriage is more egalitarian.
Couples today are paying for weddings themselves as a team rather than the parents of the bride footing the bill. Grooms are having a more of a say in the wedding itself. Men and women are on a more equal footing than ever before. So what do we think of this tradition now?
Give up my name? Are you crazy?
On the one hand you’ve had your family name for as long as you can remember. It might not be perfect but you may have come to embrace it. Not only that, but your heritage is all contained in that one word. Your family history, your bloodline, your roots. How can you take that away? However will you get used to it?
We’re a family now – we should be Mr and Mrs X!
On the other hand, you and your hubby are a family now. A single unit ready to take on the world and create your own family legacy and bloodline. Some brides are so excited to begin that journey as Mrs X and start practising their new signatures straight away. Giving up your name is not a sign of ownership, it’s a symbol of your union and life together. You’ll get used to it eventually, it’s not a big deal. (Plus his surname might be more exotic anyway!)
Half and half – let’s double barrel it
This is definitely a great option if your names allow for it. Meet in the middle that’s how it’s been your entire relationship and that’s how it will continue. Your new names will combine both families. Sure it’ll sound a little long winded and has certain connotations but surely this is the only option that makes sense?!
Having thought through all three arguments, my conclusion is… it’s a totally personal decision and one you both have to be happy with.
Thank you for reading this little debate we’ve had with ourselves. Are you going through the same internal debate? What are your thoughts? We’d be really interested to hear them, so let us know on Facebook or Twitter.
Ta ta for now!
Main Image: Words to Glow
Share this post
- Ask The Expert: How To Choose Your perfect Wedding Car
- Children at weddings: Yay or Nay?
- Ask the expert: a guide to finding your perfect wedding suit
- Ask The Expert: Understanding Humanist Ceremonies
- An elegant wedding with a Mexican flavour
- Kirsty & Tom’s Wedding Weekend Part 2
- Kirsty & Tom’s Wedding Weekend – Part 1
- Laura & Lee’s Woodland Wedding
- Quick Guide to Winter Weddings
- Susie and Sam’s Tipi Wedding